Dating for Nerds: Finding Love In Role-Playing Games

Whether or not you consider yourself a ‘nerd’, I’m sure you can understand the difficulties we go through when it comes to online dating. Don’t even get me started with in-person dating!

nerds dating

I used to think that love happened in a sort of magical way. It starts out in a kind of forced relationship. Very often this relationship is where a boy and girl don’t really want to hang around each other, but brought together by something out of their control.

They end up having to spend hours working on some goal together. Maybe they are stuck in some sort of cave, or chains, or some role playing game. Who knows!

Wait, this is beginning to sound a lot like a Disney movie. Hopefully that made you laugh a little. Up until now that was my view of finding true love. I mean sure it was the standard heterosexual relationship with somewhat of a cocky bad boy type with an innocent, but always attractive girl.

I think this is a little screwed up. First off, healthy relationships aren very rarely forced in this way. Second, we no longer need to abide by societal constraints about our relationships. We have freedom to date whoever we want (for the most part). Now that I’ve gotten a little older, I’ve had a chance to spend a lot of time doing nerdy things (reading fiction, playing role-playing games with friends, and video gaming to my hearts desire).

So I’m here to introduce you to my simple, but effective guide to dating for nerds.

If you’re a nerd, the first step is to admit it. If you’re reading this, get to the point already: you’re a nerd!

I’m obviously trying to make a point, I’m not trying to offend anyone.

We just need to accept that we aren’t like everyone in the dating market today. We have unique interests and special desires. This means that we need to be careful with our dating practices. Here are a few points of caution.

  1. Be upfront with your nerd status. Don’t run from who you are. Openly discuss your interests.
  2. No when to say no. Just because you are looking to date someone, doesn’t mean you have to date everyone. Reread that last point.
  3. Look for like minded people. This is pretty obvious isn’t it?
  4. Don’t look for people who are exactly like you. You would get bored in this situation, but thankfully there is no one that is exactly like you. I guess I’m just trying to say, don’t for someone that is in the same friends group as you and has all of the same interests and line of work.
  5. Branch out to other groups of friends and friends of friends. Sometimes we need to get out of our habitual role playing every Friday night and get to meet some new people.
  6. Attend new gaming nights in your town. You probably think you have met all of the ‘normal’ people and ‘interesting’ people out there, but this just isn’t true. Open your mind a little. Trust me, it helps.
  7. Get outside and play! Have fun outdoors with your dates as well. Find love in nature.

Okay, now I think we’ve had enough chatting. It’s time to start taking action. That means you need to get out there and start meeting people. Not everyone is going to be a 100% match, so lower your expectations a little bit. You just need to get out there and have some fun with some new friends. And that’s it! Go have some fun!

A few nerds have asked for my list of recommended dating sites. If you’re heterosexual and looking for only nerds, then I recommend gk2gk ( It’s a site for straight up nerds, that’s it. If you’re looking to expand your reach a little, and you’re comfortable dating outside of the geek community, I’d recommend A Like Wise ( It’s a book loving community, so not totally nerds, but probably close in interests. Also, my favorite, if you’re in the transgender dating community is The Transgender Dating Site ( This is a great place if you’re trans or would like to date a trans or bisexual partner.

Thanks everyone for reading! I really love my nerdy friends. Keep on role playing!


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